Writing again! These are the relieved thoughts of an amateur writer. I figured out a therapeutic life saving way for me is through writing. These writings were my way to tell people I don’t want to be alone and this is how I want to be at peace. I can type better than I speak I guess. Is it a gen Y thingy? Last week I met Mr. S, can I address Mr. S as him? No he is way special than that! He's my Mr. S. Do you want to know how we met? At first it was a love hate relationship. I will miss him if I don’t see him for days but at the same time I hate him so much when we see each other.
He was always single; no sane girl will ever want to be with him. Women only like to use him. Men never get him but there was never any attraction between Men n Mr. S. They seem to be more attracted to beautiful Miss W n dangerous Miss C. Even statistics has proven it. Love is a weird thing. He n I met in several occasions since secondary school. He was different back then, more subtle n lighter, he weighs more nowadays. But he is now more dark n cunning; he'll pop up in the middle of nowhere thinking it will be a nice surprise for me. You scare me dear!
He is so possessive when I’m with him. There is always a tinge of suffocation in all in the wrong places. He will strike me at the most improper of times. He started with making me feel important, needing me every moment n pampering me with adequate motivation. And then the fluttering begins, my heart pounds heavily, my head felt heavier n of course my body feels weaker. I have no control of its power and seduction.
He tempts me to do things differently, to be who I don’t want to be. I’ll scream aloud n need all the saving I can get. My heart was hollowed; I do things in panic n I forget I am good at a lot of things. I knew I need a way out but figuring how to be apart from him made him wants me more. I will be more uptight, a simple hello will turn bad if someone mentions me about him. I will end up with dark circles because I can’t sleep with him around. The thought of him make me eat more and sleep less. Fortunately, I shower just as many with or without him. It’s a distraught situation.
He will leave me if I find someone else, if I have someone who can listen to me ranting about him. The one that can be with me and makes me not think about HIM! He is always the one that backs off even though he’ll stalk me at uninvited sessions. He’s just inseparable!
Me and one of Mr S disguises....
But……I’ll miss him when he is not around. Without him I’ll lack drive, without him there just no saying “if you fall, dust off and rise again”. His demise and profound way of circling me in his parameters may be something uncalled for but it’s a need like sugar to coffee or bread to butter. He will always be around at times I think I don’t need him the most but that was the most crucial time for him to be there. He will be my guide, my fire and my fuel to start of things I thought I could not finish. He’s my life support even though he is bad for me, he’s my beautiful lie, and he’s my Mr. Stress…..BTW Miss W is Miss Woman and Miss C is Miss Cigarette.
No comments:
Post a Comment